Fly
by Blue Winged Angel
Summary: It's too late for Kai, but what about Rei? Kai watches as the love of his life suffers, and wishes only that he could take the pain away...and let him fly. KaiRei Oneshot


Blue: Alright, I just got the courage to post this up…as I wrote this story a while back (over a year ago) and though it originally had two of my original characters from my novel in place of Kai and Rei, I've now changed it so you all can read it Aren't I nice? And please be nice…I'm taking a big risk in posting it. It's a very personal story.

This story is dedicated to my cat, Critter. My little guardian angel.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything except this idea and the relevant plot.

I sit in the corner of your room, watching you once again as you lie on your bed in the dark. Your staring at the opposite wall, curled up in a ball, yet not crying. No, you don't cry anymore. You cried too much after my...well...

I get up from my corner after hours upon hours of watching you, letting my wings stretch after the long period of time...I think. After all, in the afterlife, there's not way to tell how time passes. It's not the same as with the living. But yes, I am dead and I've accepted that fact...though...I never did believe in Heaven, or Hell, until I was actually there. Heh, go figure. Tyson was right.

Finally, you move and I jump with a start, not that you notice, and getting out of your bed, you wander over to the mirror of your room. Your complexion has grown so much worse with your eyes sunk in and permanently red from the tears you hold back. You've lost so much weight in the last while that I can't even believe I've seen you go through this...

When I got to heaven, which was an amazing feat in itself, I became a guardian angel. Your guardian angel. I knew my departure would hurt you, as did they, so they allowed me to watch over you.

But these days, I just can't believe this is you. You were so strong, always my light when I was dark. Why did I have to go so soon? You and I both knew it when that man came around the corner that it was too soon...just too soon...

Hanging your beautiful head, I see you clench your fists as your shoulders shake once again. My heart jumps and I walk over. God, I just want to wrap my arms around you! Hold you! Just one last time. Tell you the things I was unable to do in my life.

After my untimely departure, you locked yourself away in your room, unable to face any other day. No matter who came by, no matter what happened in the outside world, you stayed locked away from the world. Yes, it wasn't fair.

Walking up behind you, I wrap my arms around you. Though you don't feel it, I have to choke back a sob as neither do I. You turn around and hurriedly walk through me. God, it feels so good yet so painful whenever you do that...it just reminds me of how much we were meant to be, and how much we can never be again.

Why did it have to happen? I know not many people believe that two men could be together and that it was wrong, but it's not fair! I don't mean to sound rude when I say this, but why couldn't it have been someone else? Someone who wasn't in love with you?

Someone who doesn't treasure your words, every move you make, everything you do. It's not fair! It's just not fair!

I can see you and that knife of yours again...you like to torture yourself. You always need to see if your still human. If you can still feel anything. And if you could if you ever wanted to again...

It hurts me everytime I see the pain across your face everytime you remember what we had...what we could have had. All the guilt you put on yourself for letting me sacrafice myself for you isn't helping either...why can't you see that it wasn't your choice? That there was nothing you or I could do? I for one wasn't going to let him hurt you, not now, not ever. Never.

I made you a promise a long time ago, don't you remember? I promised I would protect you...but I can see from the look on your face as you sit on your windowsill, looking out into the night sky between the part in the thick black curtains, that you have cleverly forgotten.

It hurts too much to see you like this...so I turn and punch the wall, yet it makes no sound, no dent, no pain in my own hand either. It does, however, ruffle a few of my feathers...wings are nice, but their shackles chaining me to the fact that I can never have you again. Never again.

I look up to suddenly see you staring right at me...or...right through me, as it were. You can't see me with those golden eyes, you and I both know it. Looking into your eyes once more, I can't believe how far you've fallen from grace. This isn't the man I fell in love with...this is the person who hates himself for events he couldn't change. He couldn't save me, and he blames himself even when I swore to protect him until my dying breath, which I did.

I held my last breath just to watch you, you know. The tears in your eyes as we kissed one last time...the disbelief...and only the echo of footsteps retreating from us. Even as I lay there, dying, I held your hand and smiled up at you the smile only you had ever seen. The real one. The loving one. Not the same damn smile I always wore to mask my true self, but one that told you everything would be alright. I tried to tell you then...I tried to tell you how I felt...but...I couldn't. Everything became so dark...and for once, I was scared.

As I remember our final moments, I can't help but think you remembered them too as you walked over to the bed once more, staring at that knife in your hand again. That knife scares me...you hurt yourself with it...

I wish you wouldn't. So many times I've tried to hold it away from you, but being as helpless as I am, I can't, and all you seem to wonder is why it's always so heavy when you go to pick it up.

You know, I never cried throughout my life. Maybe once or twice I had the urge, but I never did...I think I've caught up by now, but that doesn't matter. Seeing you hurt makes me cry. It's so painful, just so painful...

I see that look in your eyes and I can feel my skin pale. You can't! They need you! Were all family on this team, and no matter who you were, you were mine, and so they look up to you like one of their big brothers. You can't just leave them...you just can't. They need you! So many people need you!

I hurry over to you and kneel in front of your perfect form and stare up into your beautiful face, ravaged with pain, hurt, and torture. My hands on your knees, I beg you not to. I don't beg, you and I both know this. I didn't beg when he aimed that gun, and I sure as hell didn't beg when he pulled that trigger. But, I have to admit, I did beg for him to let you be, and he did. So now I'm begging again, please! You don't want this!

You don't want the pain of watching the only person you ever loved slowly killing himself day to day from guilt you, unfortunately, caused! I saved his life, and he still doesn't know why I did it or how...I never told him.

Clenching my hands on your knees as you stare at the knife, a blue tear forms in my eye and begins its journey down my cheek. I whisper for you to not do it, that they need you. You can't do it...too many people need you! Care for you, even though you can't see it. For crying out loud, even Max comes by everyday to see you! You can't do this...you can't...

Yet you can't hear me. You can't feel me. You don't even know I'm here. Damn wings, I don't need them, I've never needed them. They only serve as a reminder of what I can never have again with you.

You raise that knife in your hands and point it at your perfect chest...my eyes widen and I shake my head. I can't stop you even if I tried. My hand would only pass through it if I tried to stop you.

Slamming my eyes together as the tear rests on my chin after its journey down my face, I lose control and finally shout. "DON'T DO IT!" The tear falls onto your knee, but I don't care, I put my face centimeters from yours and shout again. "I LOVE YOU!"

Sobbing, I watch you stop and look around before looking at the knife. Your eyes widen as if you didn't know that you were about to...about to...I guess it doesn't matter as you threw the knife away. Still on the floor, I push myself away from you and to the wall as you stand up and look around. You look down, and there, on your pants...is a small wet spot.

A weak smile crosses both of our faces and at the same time, we laugh. Looking around, we catch eye contact once more, your eyes show confusion, but mine show love and understanding. You know it's not your fault, don't you?

"I love you...live again." I whisper, and a shower of white sparkles falls around me as I stand and face you once more. You look around, unaware of the sparkles or me, but walk over and grab my old beyblade.

"I...I wonder if Tyson is still awake? There's still so much I need to know about you before I can fully let you go..." you muse out loud before walking to the door. But just before you leave, you turn back to the room. "But I love you too."

The original story can be found here - http/ 


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